ORDER THIS BOOK from ECW Pressfrom Chapters.Indigo.ca
“Friedman is the author of the very funny novel Then Again. These poems are like the novel – obnoxious, crisp, full of attitude and autobiographical precision, but also reverent and a tiny bit sad....Lively poems with a point but not a moral and the velocity of a car full of drunk kids looking for a party but more likely to get pulled over by the cops.” – Hal Niedzviecki, author and founder of Broken Pencil magazine
Paradise Mural
When I was 13 years old
I worked at the Yorkdale Holiday Inn
selling liquor tickets
at the Thursday night singles' dance
My dad managed the hotel
and my Uncle Eddy ran the dances
that's how I got the job
In between numbers or
sometimes during
the men and women
would come
sweaty out of the dark ballroom
to buy their tickets
and get their drinks
The men liked to
kid around
and tipped well
The women disliked having a
kid around
and didn't tip at all
They would eye
my young flesh
the men
and offer to buy me
Cokes
which I got for free
anyways, thanks
And the band would play
the same songs
week after week
the same singles
After The Lovin'
Twilight Time
You Are So Beautiful To Me
And the whole thing seemed
pretty miserable
especially
the lady in the halter gown with the
miles of blue ribbon
woven into her hair
like some kind of Easter basket
mounted on top of her head
And the one who always tried to giggle
but it came off the gangplank of her tongue
like it had been
pushed
And my Uncle Eddy in his captain's hat
and his pinky ring
and his much too Old Spice
and those terrible sad eyes
that didn't change when he smiled
chatting them all up
flattering
buying drinks
for the ladies
and just
trying
to keep it going
make a bit of coin
and maybe
maybe
take one home
for the night
to that crazy apartment
with the view of the ocean
the glorious beach
the magnificent sunset
and the wrinkled palm trees
around the edges
where the wallpaper
didn't get smoothed down
properly
19 Minutes Until You
Studies show
that men think
about sex
every 7 minutes
I think
about these studies
every 4 minutes
Every 16 minutes
I think about cancer
Every 12 minutes
cigarette
Poverty: 40
Success: 42
Laundry: 780
Weight gain: 11
A terrorist attack
every 218 minutes
Every 10,080
I think about that moth
the kind with owl eye
markings on its wings
to scare off predators,
and how that's as close as
you can get to proof of
God
Now He Hosts A Show On CBC
We were drunk
in front of fire
when Jeff decided to
never write
real estate
copy again
He slid giddy across hardwood
into bedroom/office
returned flushed and fevered
with the monster portfolio
Then into the flames
with a hardy har har went
the coffered ceilings
features & finishes
Corinthian columns &
commitments to quality
When the cubicle hours of ads
had been torched
he peeled off socks
and burned those too